Finally Left

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Posts by Finally Left

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  13

  Broadcasting live from the belly of the beast

  by NikL in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well unfortunately i was unable to get out of today gracefully so here i am in sacramento california at what i fear may be the most boring convention to date.. heck there aren't even any entertaining apostates to watch .

  anyway,i am just posting as a quiet f.u.

  to the org..

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  Finally Left

  Thanks for the update
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  27

  Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my freedom came with a heavy cost.

  i couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip i told my parents that i no longer wanted to be a jw.

  when my sister got back and i told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift i ever gave her in front of my door.. my entire family has turned against me.

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  Finally Left

  Speaking from the parents point of view, I remember when my son left. I cried and cried. You feel like a failure and you are so worried. You ask yourself what is Satan's world going to do to him? He will not be in the new system with us. Honestly it is very difficult for parents.

  With time I saw my son was doing just fine. He had made friends, had a good job. After a while you get used to the idea even though you aren't happy about it. Give them time. Our relationship improved with our son and now we are out of the organization too. A year ago you would never convince me I would be out and posting on an apostate website!! Time changes everything.

  Make good decisions, let your family know you love them and miss them. Let them know you are doing well. Hopefully it will get better.
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  13

  Broadcasting live from the belly of the beast

  by NikL in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well unfortunately i was unable to get out of today gracefully so here i am in sacramento california at what i fear may be the most boring convention to date.. heck there aren't even any entertaining apostates to watch .

  anyway,i am just posting as a quiet f.u.

  to the org..

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  Finally Left

  I feel for you. When I was "in" they were hard to sit through. Can't imagine what it must be like knowing it is not true. Please post how many are baptized. Just curious.
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  36

  Crossing the Elders

  by Cold Steel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  few things draw my interest as much as people on this board who talk about the elders, the insidious little toadies who lurk around kingdom halls, the proverbial big fish in little ponds.

  it amazes me the terror and the veneration they inspire, as well as the occasional ridicule.

  it makes me wonder how they're selected and whether most of them come into the position with a sense of power, entitlement, authority and control, or whether many of them are pretty nice people and that i'm just hearing about the bad apples?

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  Finally Left

  It is funny how you go through such a range of emotions when you leave the truth. This post struck a cord with me and today I am angry.

  Elders - shame on them. Last year a brother in our congregation was in hospice with cancer. He had been there for several weeks. His wife said when he is dying I will call you, please be with me. Well, in the middle of the afternoon the call came. I was at work at good 15 minutes away, but my husband was at a store within blocks of hospice. I called him and asked him to go immediately that this was it - he is dying. There was an elder that was in the same store at that time and please note - they are within WALKING distance of the hospice. He asked the elder to come, that the brother was about to take his last breath and we need to be there for him and his family. The brother said - I don't have time right now I need to buy some light bulbs. The brother was dead 30 minutes later. Shame on him! Shame! Shame! I could never look him in the face again. I am supposed to respect him? Really?

  Several years ago a sister tried to commit suicide. My husband went with an elder to visit her in the hospital. His first words to her were, "You had your chance and you blew it. You are still here!". Can you believe it! My husband was so upset with him he took him the hall of the hospital and let him have it.

  Elders have zero accountability. They do so much harm when they could do good. They are uncaring, borish, untrained yet think they are something special. I know this is not true for every elder, but so many elders bully the other elders and they just back down and let them damage the flock. What a shame!

  I used to think Jehovah, where are you? What is going on here? Now I know.
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  36

  Crossing the Elders

  by Cold Steel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  few things draw my interest as much as people on this board who talk about the elders, the insidious little toadies who lurk around kingdom halls, the proverbial big fish in little ponds.

  it amazes me the terror and the veneration they inspire, as well as the occasional ridicule.

  it makes me wonder how they're selected and whether most of them come into the position with a sense of power, entitlement, authority and control, or whether many of them are pretty nice people and that i'm just hearing about the bad apples?

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  Finally Left

  I was reading about people who are trained to handle child abuse cases their training lasts 18 months. How much training do elders receive yet they handle matters that affect people for the rest of their life? It is sad. They are not qualified to deal with marriage, teenage, child abuse............all the issues that they deal with. They harm too many people
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  42nd class Gilead Sept 1966

  by lepavoux in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for thaisun vivienne ainsworth, maurice le pavoux, guernsey, channel islands [email protected] drop me a line .

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  Finally Left

  Hi Maurice, I would love to hear your story. Have you posted it somewhere?
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  16

  My husband reinstated our son

  by Finally Left in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  dear friends, we were so touched by your warm welcome and all of your comments to my ballroom dancing post.

  thank you so much for your kindness.. i have more to tell you, but i wanted to share this with you.

  we have a son that has been disfellowshipped for 18 years for smoking.

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  Finally Left

  Dear Friends, We were so touched by your warm welcome and all of your comments to my ballroom dancing post. Thank you so much for your kindness.

  I have more to tell you, but I wanted to share this with you. We have a son that has been disfellowshipped for 18 years for smoking. We have not shunned him and have had him to our home yet the damage has been done. The relationship as you know is altered. When we finally figured out this was not the truth my husband called and reinstated him! He helped him understand this is not the truth and we are so sorry we raised him like we did. He had been on a path of destruction and said he felt like he was walking in a dead mans shoes. His life has turned completely around and he now has a reason to live.

  Our daughter and son in law left the truth about a year before us. They bought a RV and traveled for a couple of years. Because they were away from the indoctrination they woke up.

  Our middle son left years ago and has now woke up. So now we have our family put back together. What a horrible organization that rips the guts out of families. They need to go. Thanks for listening.

  Next time I will tell you about the elders wheeling up in our driveway to interrogate us and the warm welcome my husband gave them. I don't think they will be back!
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  36

  How ballroom dancing helped our exit

  by Finally Left in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just wanted to say hello and thank you for all of your comments.

  when i finally figured out this was not the truth it was nice to know i wasn't the only one - it was a surprise to learn how many there are.

  february was my last month of service after 43 active years.

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  Finally Left

  Dear Friends, We were so touched by your warm welcome and all of your comments. Thank you so much for your kindness.
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  19

  Feeling Alone. Need Emotional Support.

  by Doubtfully Yours in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  please chime in if you're one of my kindred spirit that happens to literally be trapped in due to strong family/friends ties, or plain fear of being abandoned in old age.. although leaving the org is my ultimate wish and desire, fear of the unknown, fear of how it would change my family dinamics, plain fear alone paralyzes me.

  how do you cope in this difficult situation?

  dy.

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  Finally Left

  Hi DY, A saying we use often at our home is - this too will pass. A year from now things will be totally different. It is 99% of the time true. You either learn to deal with it or something changes.

  I truly believe the organization is in a downward spiral and they can't stop the momentum. I think it will spin out of control. Banned in Russia, took all their buildings, the ARC is not finished with them, can't wait to see what happens. Then you read the posts 48% capacity at the Kingdom Hall. The Kingdom Hall we left was 75% empty. Lawsuits, sending bethelites home, selling Kingdom Halls, begging for money, decreases in many countries last year....... Can they last?

  I like that idea about faking your time. Too bad I never thought of that!!! Maybe you can do a slow fade.

  Go find something you like to do and do it. Make good decisions and make some new friends. It is scary leaving but I am so glad I did. I am finally happy and I haven't been happy in a very long time.
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  36

  How ballroom dancing helped our exit

  by Finally Left in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just wanted to say hello and thank you for all of your comments.

  when i finally figured out this was not the truth it was nice to know i wasn't the only one - it was a surprise to learn how many there are.

  february was my last month of service after 43 active years.

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  Finally Left

  Just wanted to say hello and thank you for all of your comments. When I finally figured out this was not the truth it was nice to know I wasn't the only one - it was a surprise to learn how many there are.

  February was my last month of service after 43 active years. The same as others - overlapping generation - you have to be kidding! What I was very disturbed about was the change on typical/antitypical. It was obvious I had been lied to. So I had been to meetings for years and studied and tried to learn all that stuff to find out years later none of it was true. I felt totally deceived. Long story short - I began to research staying totally away from apostate websites of course. I gave my husband little hints along the way as I was learning, but he never said anything. Finally one morning I asked him - if 1914 is wrong what would you do? He said that would be it - I quit!!!! So I waited and kept studying and learning. I did not want to destroy his faith but I couldn't do this anymore.

  So one day I told him I have to talk to you about something very important. I do not believe this is the truth and I can never go in service again and deceive people. If you want me to I will go with you to the meetings and conventions but I do not believe it. My husband was VERY discouraged anyway. He was a former elder and had lost his enthusiasm for the truth. I asked him if I could show him the things I had learned. After all, I could be wrong and I would love to hear what he had to say. He was very open minded and March was his last month of service and we never went back to the Kingdom Hall.

  About a year before all of this we began to take ballroom dancing. (Of course I just signed us up because I knew he would never agree to take dance lessons!!) After dance we would receive invitations to go get a drink - but no - they are worldly, we could never do that.

  We had recently moved and our new congregation was not welcoming. The friends at the Kingdom Hall just said hello - especially the elders, we rarely received an invitation. It was pathetic. We have always had the friends over and I have cooked and cooked and I told my husband I am not doing it anymore. So there you go - if you don't ask them to come over you have no friends.

  We started taking dance lessons at a new place and this time when they asked us to go out after dance we said yes. Wow! We were not judged, there was no bad language, people were actually interested in us. All of the couples have been married for years, no immorality, no overdrinking. Not at all what I expected. So as we started to made our exit out of the "truth" we have had endless invitations, we have something to do every weekend. We have had several of the couples to our home for a meal and they too have invited us.

  (Sorry I wanted this to be short) So I have read about a lot of lonely people and my heart breaks for you. But if you can find something you enjoy doing (actually my husbands loves dancing now!) it really takes some of the pain away. We also told them that we were Jehovah's Witnesses and had been for years and we were leaving. They had lots of questions and were very supportive. We helped them understand that we would now be totally shunned and they really included us and we have become friends with all of them.

  I am so glad to be free. I hate that I have wasted most of my life in a dream bubble wasting my time, but I am free.

  One of these days I will tell you the rest of the story.